Forget wind power! Ditch solar! Thermal and wave – not gonna happen! These are all solutions whose time has come and gone or just won’t ever come. Don’t waste your time and money on these. They’re no different than Enron.
We, the two Bruces, have figured it out. This is the ultimate answer to the world’s energy problems. No more drilling for fossil fuels – biotic or abiotic. We will not need them any more. We will not need to build a costly infrastructure to make this happen. We will not need the oil companies either unless we need to develop new conjugal lubricants.
What’s truly amazing is that this answer has been there all along. As a matter of fact, it’s been there since the beginning of time or at least the Romans.
There is just so much good news about this, we don’t know where to start. It’s ultimately sustainable, renewable, recyclable, all natural, low-cost, no more reliance on foreign governments (stable or unstable), simply put – it’s perfect!
OK, we know you’re just drooling at the prospect of shooting Exxon the middle finger once and for all and we’re with you. Just think about it – no more chance of another Exxon Valdez. No more BP catastrophes in the Gulf. Over. Done. Gone. Sayonara!
So what is this wonderful idea? Personal Methane Farms or PMF’s! Think about it. With everyone in charge of their own PMF, one will be able to create as much energy as needed. Running short? Eat more fiber. And the more fiber we eat, the better it is for farmers. That’s an additional boon to farmers whose own PMF’s can fuel AND fertilize their product thus creating more raw material for all of these personal PMFs. This circle will never be broken.
The opportunity for additional benefits is enormous. If you have a large family, good for you – you now qualify for a healthy tax break. Pets? Oh, yeah – another deduction for you. Employer with multiple toilet stalls – can you smell the profits? There will be significant tax credits for those businesses who can prove that all they make is crap, foreign countries excepted.
On the other hand, all elected members of government, the Supreme Court, and lawyers will not be eligible for these tax breaks or deductions nor will they be permitted to invest in PMFs. We’ve been taking their crap for so long, it’s payback time and man, doesn’t that feel good?
Now you’re thinking that’s great for lighting up my house, but what about my car? This is where some new but inexpensive infrastructure will be necessary. All cars will have to be converted to running on our own flatulence. Each PMF will need to be equipped with a capture tank that stores your gas as you drive! Then as you need it, eat some fiber rich bars and you can refuel your car anytime. If you do run out, highly unlikely, then will be numerous new mom- and pop-owned fiber convenient stores located everywhere in the country. This will also create valuable jobs helping the economy further. Folks, it’s time we took our future in our own hands and started farting around!